Lately, I’ve been plagued by guilt. I’ve been feeling guilty for not reviewing. I am still active on Twitter, Instagram, and talk to my sex blogger friends on the outs, but I haven’t reviewed in a long time. Here’s why:
When I was registering for classes this semester, I was full of high expectations for myself. I made the mistake of registering right after looking at my GPA from last semester; I got a 4.0 with 16 units. I thought, “Hell, I can do more than that.” Apparently, I thought I was Super Woman who can juggle school, parenting, marriage, and a household. I found out that I am not Super Woman. I found out that I am a frazzled 28 year-old mother and wife who pisses coffee and dreams of dildos.
I do not have time for anything that really makes me happy. Here and there I have time to masturbate in the shower, or time in between classes. When I do have a minute (or hour) alone, my brain goes, “NO RESPONSIBILITIES, NO REASON TO BE ON.” Then I just watch Firefly or Sherlock on Netflix.
I’m still working towards my being a sex therapist and sex educator in the future. My schooling is not for a generic job; it’s for my dream job. I am losing my mind this semester, but I know that this is only temporary. I’m half way through this semester and I’ve got B’s and one C in 5 classes (all in person, nothing online). I’ll definitely be doing things different in the future, and only take 4 classes per semester. I have too much going on at home, and I NEED TIME TO FUCK MYSELF WITH SEX TOYS OF VARIOUS DESIGNS. *cough* I mean, I need time for me.
I really wish I had written this sooner, rather than just disappearing for the past couple of months. It was not my intent to just fall off of the map. I am still active on Twitter, it’s where you’ll see me most. I miss my sex-positive, body-positive friends so much, as I feel alone most of the time when I’m not on Twitter. Not that I’m alone, I do have many friends, but they don’t understand why I might love a sex toy but loathe the fact that it looks like shitty pudding. Or why I feel the need to own so many different kinds of lubricant, or why a person feels the need to own so many dildos. I don’t have a huge shoe collection, or a favorite make-up brand, I can’t really tell you who sings that song that I dance to everyday on the radio. I can tell you who makes the best dildos and vibrators. I just wish I had the time to write about it on here.
So, I have not disappeared. I have not given up blogging. I have not stopped testing toys. I am here. Life has been going a lot faster than I’m used to, but hopefully soon, I’ll catch up.
Love you, guys.
If you ever wanna talk to me, ask questions, or just shoot the shit, I’m quick to respond to emails or on Twitter; so, hit me up sometime.