Oct 152014

I’m working on a project for my Communications 12 class, and it’s supposed to be a mixed genre piece. I chose sex as my subject. I want to convey that sex is amazing, but for people to be safe. I’m working on how to make this interesting, informative, while still entertaining. I thought, “Oh, I’ll just write a poem about how awesome sex toys are.” Like that will be an ice breaker or something. WRONG! Apparently I write really shitty poetry. Granted, that this is forced poetry that I banged out in 10 minutes. It’s really fucking awful. So, here it is…proof of why I should NEVER write poetry.

Ode to Sex Toys

Tired hands and fingers,
battery operated silicone relief.
Porn blasting in the foreground,
an adjustment of a cock sheath.
Power of a kick start motor,
with silent vibrations;
followed by overwhelming clitoral sensations.

Laughter fills the air,
as lube flies everywhere.
Pump bottles are underrated.
This dildo fits perfect in my harness underwear.

Writing poems is hard.
I wish I had thought this through.
My love for sex toys is nothing new.
Also, I wish more dildos came in blue.

Yep, just as bad as I thought. I need to work on this a bit. I really hope I can find some pieces online. I have to combine different literature to emphasize my point. I worry, now, but I’m sure I’ll figure it out down the line. I hope you enjoyed my terrible poetry. When I re-read it, I laughed so hard that I spit all over my screen. Hell, I’m laughing right now, it’s so awful. I hope you are having a good day, if not, I hope this made  you laugh at least.

Cheers to bad poetry.

 Posted by at 2:46 pm
Oct 092014

Lately, I’ve been plagued by guilt. I’ve been feeling guilty for not reviewing. I am still active on Twitter, Instagram, and talk to my sex blogger friends on the outs, but I haven’t reviewed in a long time. Here’s why:

When I was registering for classes this semester, I was full of high expectations for myself. I made the mistake of registering right after looking at my GPA from last semester; I got a 4.0 with 16 units. I thought, “Hell, I can do more than that.” Apparently, I thought I was Super Woman who can juggle school, parenting, marriage, and a household. I found out that I am not Super Woman. I found out that I am a frazzled 28 year-old mother and wife who pisses coffee and dreams of dildos.

I do not have time for anything that really makes me happy. Here and there I have time to masturbate in the shower, or time in between classes. When I do have a minute (or hour) alone, my brain goes, “NO RESPONSIBILITIES, NO REASON TO BE ON.” Then I just watch Firefly or Sherlock on Netflix.

I’m still working towards my being a sex therapist and sex educator in the future. My schooling is not for a generic job; it’s for my dream job. I am losing my mind this semester, but I know that this is only temporary. I’m half way through this semester and I’ve got B’s and one C in 5 classes (all in person, nothing online). I’ll definitely be doing things different in the future, and only take 4 classes per semester. I have too much going on at home, and I NEED TIME TO FUCK MYSELF WITH SEX TOYS OF VARIOUS DESIGNS. *cough* I mean, I need time for me.

I really wish I had written this sooner, rather than just disappearing for the past couple of months. It was not my intent to just fall off of the map. I am still active on Twitter, it’s where you’ll see me most. I miss my sex-positive, body-positive friends so much, as I feel alone most of the time when I’m not on Twitter. Not that I’m alone, I do have many friends, but they don’t understand why I might love a sex toy but loathe the fact that it looks like shitty pudding. Or why I feel the need to own so many different kinds of lubricant, or why a person feels the need to own so many dildos. I don’t have a huge shoe collection, or a favorite make-up brand, I can’t really tell you who sings that song that I dance to everyday on the radio. I can tell you who makes the best dildos and vibrators. I just wish I had the time to write about it on here.

So, I have not disappeared. I have not given up blogging. I have not stopped testing toys. I am here. Life has been going a lot faster than I’m used to, but hopefully soon, I’ll catch up.

Love you, guys.

If you ever wanna talk to me, ask questions, or just shoot the shit, I’m quick to respond to emails or on Twitter; so, hit me up sometime.

desk mod

 Posted by at 12:32 pm