Jun 262014
 

The Hammer PotD

As soon as I saw SheVibe’s Instagram video of The Hammer, I wanted it. I was stoked to find out that it was open to review. It has not left my side since I opened the package yesterday afternoon. I’m not kidding, I had it on my nightstand when I woke up this morning. I’m heading out of town today, and taking a hammer dildo isn’t in the cards, so I wanted to make sure I got to try this thing out before I left. I have been swinging it around since yesterday. When I knew that it was on its way, I psyched myself up by watching the movie, Thor. I honestly wish The Hammer flew to me the way it flew to Thor when he got his powers back. That would be epic (and highly improbable, unless someone threw it at me as hard as they could).

I’m looking forward to giving The Hammer a thorough workout, and am happy to add it to my collection. It looks amazing. I’m still in awe at how realistic the handle looks. They even made marks to look like real stitching. I realize that this translates as difficult to clean, but I don’t care. I have a toothbrush specifically for that reason.

The Hammer AaaAAaa PotD

 Thank you SheVibe for sending me The Hammer in exchange for my fair and honest review soon to come!

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Jun 192014
 

Seduction
My first wooden toy! I’ve been wanting to try wood for a long time now, and the time has finally come! When I saw the mail person at the mailbox, I tried to play it cool. I took the trash cans up, trying to keep my excitement contained (I seriously was afraid I’d tackle the poor guy in my need to see the Seduction in person).

When I got inside with my package from Burlesque Toys, I was surprised; I hadn’t heard much about NobEssence’s packaging before. It’s a nice, demure, sturdy box, that opens up from the top; I’ll be showing it in my review. Right after I held it in my hands for a moment (and did a dance), I ran outside to take a picture, and of course I had to see what it looked like wet. That’s what you see here; those aren’t imperfections in the wood or lacquer.

I can’t wait to try the Seduction. I’ll have to hurry and get some toy time in before family shows up. It never fails, whenever I get a toy that I’m eager to stick inside me, a big family get together is about to happen. Where there’s a will, there’s a way!

Thank you Burlesque Toys for sending me the Seduction in exchange for my fair and honest review soon to come!

Jun 172014
 

Amsterdam upward

It’s here! I am excited and giddy about the Amsterdam from Tantus. LOOK AT IT. It’s a colossus cock. I’m still in awe of how huge it is, in my hands. I was surprised that it made my huge boiling pot look like a pathetic little sauce pan. I’m looking forward to taking on the Amsterdam; I can’t wait to see how the “X’s” play out. Wish me luck!

Thank you Tantus, for sending me the Amsterdam in exchange for my fair and honest review, soon to come!

Amsterdam potd

Jun 142014
 

I have two versions of the Revel Body; the first and second version. The first version I received was quickly deemed obsolete and a second version came out soon after. The first version was extremely weak, and the instruction manual was ridiculous. It had 8 pages of warnings; such as “Don’t use on loose skin.” That one made me crack up to be honest. This warning is gone from the second versions instruction manual, thank goodness.

SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURES

When I opened the package with the Revel Body, and saw that they included all of the attachments, I was eager to see how it would play out. All of the attachments are extremely different in shape. All of them are covered in pink, buttery smooth silicone, and all of them have extremely strong magnets in the bases. I was quick to take a Package of the Day picture, and get the Revel  Body on the charger. I wanted to see how this baseball vibrator worked.

revel vibrations

After I charged the Revel Body, I went through the cycles. They range from a thumping piston-like movement to standing still while humming. The Revel Body’s technology moves the magnet attachments up and down within the orb, this is caused by the linear motor (i.e. magnet motor). The range starts slow,  moving the attachment up and down the most. As you ascend the levels, the attachment moves faster, with less range. When you reach the highest level, movement is non-existent and it sounds like a hearing test. The levels of intensity are as follows: 1) Oh, look! It’s moving! 2) Still moving, and sounds like a boat motor. 3) It’s moving less but it’s faster. 4) Okay, that faster, but where did the motion go? 5) Is this going down in intensity? 6)Am I pressing the wrong button? 7) Is this thing even on? I hear it, but I’m not feeling it. Weird. 8-10) All I hear is the pitch of the motor going up, and the attachment isn’t even moving anymore. What the hell?

First off, I don’t like it, care for it, have interest in using it again after this review, and you won’t hear me suggesting it. I’ve had the Revel Body for quite awhile now, and during that time I’ve found that the Revel Body just doesn’t work for my body. Every time I’ve used it, I have used all of the attachments, with all of the speeds, with lube, without lube (there are no patterns). Every time, I am left with nothing. I’ve tried using it lightly on my clit (as suggested), I’ve used pressure. Nothing. Don’t get me wrong, the vibrations definitely vary between thumping to non-existent, but that’s about it. The website says to hold the Revel Body lightly against the skin. Um, why would I want a toy that can’t hold up its movement under the pressure of its own weight? I used no pressure, just the weight of the Revel Body, and that took a lot of the sensation away. Holding it away from my clit, left me feeling nothing as well. Like I said, I’ve used all of the attachments, and still nothing. I did, however, figure out that the attachments will make great magnets on my fridge.

SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURES

SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURESThe first attachment comes standard with the Revel Body, it’s called the “Rose”. Its shape reminds me of a powder puff, only super small. Its silicone is buttery soft, but has very little give to it. When in use, this attachment does nothing for me. It’s too broad, and to be honest, in the beginning I was worried about bits of flesh being caught with in the Revel Body (remember the warning from the first version?). Once I got over this fear, I was left waiting. Come on, sensations! Any time now! The only response I got was a motor boat sound coming from my vulva.

ConaThe second attachment available is the “Cona”. The Cona’s silicone is the same buttery soft silicone that covers all of the attachments, only it’s softer. Not in texture but in design. The Cona is shaped like a cylinder, and is quite pliable. However, in use this does softly pinpoint the sensations. As I’ve stated before the sensations are lacking, so it doesn’t do much to help. All it does is pin point the thump or hum, depending on which setting you have it on. This attachment isn’t very easy to clean, but it isn’t impossible. I found a fingernail works alright, as well as a strong stream of water. Also, it takes a long time to dry, as the water sits within it.

SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURESThe third attachment is the “Ever”. It’s a strange shape; it looks like a smooth water’s surface when a single drop of water falls upon it. It looks like a nice attachment, but it again does nothing. You can feel a difference from the Rose attachment, but does not translate into an orgasm.

FawnThe fourth attachment is the “Fawn”. It looks like a rubber, dog hair removing, lint brush to me. That’s how it feels too. The silicone isn’t soft enough and feels as though I”m getting jabbed. On the highest settings it’s still uncomfortable. Also, this attachment is extremely hard to clean. Every time I think that I’ve cleaned it thoroughly, I always end up seeing that tell tale white within the bristles.

NikoThe last attachment is the “Niko”. Honestly, I don’t know how I would describe how it looks, I think the picture is the only way. The Niko is a toss up when it comes to stimulation. It either feels like someone trying ram your clit with their tongue, or it’s like you’re poking your clit with your finger tip (on the highest settings). If that’s your thing, that’s great. It isn’t mine.

I’ve tried all of these attachments with lube, without lube, out of water, in the water. The Revel Body doesn’t work for me. With most toys, I’m able to weasel an orgasm out of it. Not with the Revel Body. I spent most of my time searching for anything resembling an arousing feeling. The whole toy, with all of the attachments, left me frustrated and bored.

do like the quality of everything that True Sonic Tech sent me. The packaging is exquisite (the way that the attachments look like display items), the boxes are strong, sturdy and nicely done. The quality of the toy and attachments are nicely done. Even though I think they are a waste of time and money, the quality is top-notch.

Revel travel collage

The Travel Bag and charger is in a class all of its own. I have yet to see another company put as much time and effort into storage for a sex toy. The bag is made with strong material (think backpack) and with a strong zipper. The bag is the perfect size for the toy, with a breathing hole at the bottom (I’m not kidding). Also, there is a drawstring portion within the top half of the bag. Here is where you would store the travel charging cord and USB wall charger cube. The travel charging cord is made from study wire with strong fabric around it. I honestly think that this is the best charging cord I’ve seen yet. The USB cube is a standard wall charger that is included with the toy. So, I have three of them now (I love them; so handy).  I seriously wish that other toy companies would take a page out of True Sonic Tech’s book in regards to the quality of the storage and travel cord.

So, overall, I would say, save your money and buy something else. I would recommend the Mona 2 or a We-Vibe Touch. The Revel Body isn’t a toy I would take a risk on, since it is $130 and that’s just the toy with the Rose attachment. Every other attachment is $19. The Travel Bag is just under $30. As I said in the video, you’ll find that if you buy everything Revel, you will find that you have bought the most expensive USB wall charger you’ll ever get.

Thank you SheVibe and True Sonic Technology for sending me the Revel Body with all of the attachments and Travel Bag, in exchange for my fair and honest review.

If you’d like to buy the Revel Body, click the link below to use my affiliate code.

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Jun 132014
 

Pedro resized

The Pedro is here! As soon as I saw Pedro, I had to have it. It’s a rare dildo that can be left by a kitchen sink and nobody be the wiser. I’m excited to take Pedro on. This thing is HUGE, but so soft. It’s amazing that this dildo looks so realistic, yet is made of such soft silicone. This may be the one and only time, I will look down and see a terra cotta pot hanging out of my vagina. So, of course I’m excited as hell. This will be a very interesting experience.

Thank you, Primal Hardwere for sending it to me in exchange for my fair and honest review, soon to come!

 

Jun 052014
 

Mona 2I am so behind on this review. The reason? I HAVE BEEN USING IT NON-STOP. I’m not kidding. Since I received it from Burlesque Toys, I have been using it daily. I take it on trips with me, regardless of where I’m going. It’s always with me. I am in love with my Mona 2. The power, the shape, it’s rechargeable and waterproof. My clit has been waiting for this for a long time.

The Mona 2 is made by LELO a Swedish company and have quite an array of toys that they have designed. I had no experience with LELO prior, aside from the Tiani 2 (which I still haven’t used) and the Ella (which I love to take with me on trips as well).

Burlesque Toys, the company who sent me the Mona 2, is an online sex toy shop that only carries body safe materials, located in Delaware. They started out of necessity when their founder Grace Love went to a brick and mortar shop only to find toxic toys and leaving the shop feeling trashy (their word). They are a very enthusiastic company, always open to talking to customers. I was surprised when the Mona 2 showed up in three days after the confirmation email from them. Honestly their timing was perfect. I was stoked to be able to take Mona 2 with me when I went to Chicago for my belated honeymoon.

When I opened the mailbox to see the package containing my Mona 2, I squealed. Keep in mind that my mail box is one of those industrial ones that contains the entire block’s mail. Still, I squealed, I clutched the Mona 2 to my chest, and skipped home. I’m not kidding, I skipped. Neighbors be damned, I was fucking excited and I still am.

Mona 2 packaging

The Mona 2 from LELO comes with the standard LELO extras; the storage bag, the card of authenticity, small packet of LELO lube, and the charger for the toy.

Mona charge

The Mona 2 is amazing. I’m sure you’re sitting there thinking ENOUGH WITH THE ADJECTIVES! TELL ME WHAT MAKES IT AMAZING! Alright, here we go. The Mona 2 is made with from body safe materials – plastic and 100% silicone coating. The silicone is buttery smooth. It grips flesh gently when dry, which I love for when I’m using it externally. With a little bit of water based lube, it inserts easily. The buttons are a dream. Why are they a dream? There are four of them, they are all raised and separate. This makes it really easy to know which button I’m pressing when I’m not looking. Also, if things get a little slick, I’m able to easily grip them.

The Mona 2’s rumble is something to respected and admired. I mean it. The rumble is strong and fast, there is a buzz to it but just the right amount. The rumble carries through my g-spot stronger than I’ve ever felt. Usually when I stick a vibe in my vagina, I’m sitting there thinking, “I can hear it, so it must be on.” The Mona 2 doesn’t leave any question in my mind that it’s on. I’ve actually been afraid of using it internally. I’m not afraid of the orgasm, but rather of squirting all over my bed. Instead I take it into the bath, and have my way with it there, or in the shower. Doing it there I know I won’t be doing laundry over and over. I’m hoping to one day get my hands on a Liberator Throe (*stares dreamily into the distance*).

Mona 2 vibrations

The Mona 2 isn’t silent but it’s definitely quiet. It can barely be heard from the under the covers, which I appreciate. Nothing worse than reaching into my spank bank while trying ignore the sound of a legion of bees on high alert. There are 6 different patterns with the Mona 2 and 8 different speeds/strength settings. Personally I am in love with the highest, steady setting. After I’m finished, the lower settings ease me off of the Mona 2.

I love that the Mona 2 is waterproof, as I love taking toys into the water (shower/tub). I love that it holds a charge of two hours and doesn’t take long to charge. When the battery life is running out, the four buttons will flash. I like that it does that so I at least know that the end is coming. Usually when a vibe does without warning, I’m pissed off. When the Mona 2 dies, I sit there thinking, “fair enough, you did warn me”. The silicone covering of the bulbous end is smooth, but does need water-based lube for insertion. I do not recommend using the Mona 2 anally. There is no flared base and therefore not safe for ass play. The bulbous end is 4 1/2  in. in usable length, the circumference is 4 1/2 in. at the widest.

Mona front

Mona side

I am in love with my Mona 2. I never thought I would love broad vibrations. Honestly, after the Mona 2, it’s hard going back to go back to any other vibrator. In fact, when my Mona 2 does die, it takes me a long time to get used to the narrow vibrations of my Salsa backup.

The Mona 2 is a life changing toy, in my experience. That’s a huge statement, but it’s the truth. I never leave this toy behind when I go on trips. It has me coming with in minutes if need be (I love quickies when I’m busy). With the length of the Mona 2, I’m able to sit back and relax, and the vibe does all of the work.

Oh, Mona 2, how I love you.

Mona 2 sign

I saw this sign driving through a nearby county, and this is all I saw when I saw it.
Yes, sex toys are always on my mind.

 

Thank you Burlesque Toys for sending me the Mona 2, in exchange for my fair and honest review!