Aug 022013
 

For the past month, I’ve felt pulled in all different directions. It’s as though every family member that could visit us this month, did. I’ve had to sneak off to play with myself. Not something I’m used to. I’ve had to try and time things to test toys, lubes, and everything else. Meaning as soon as I hear the car pull off, I’m having to run upstairs to fuck myself really quick before having to leave to run another errand. I’ve had to run outside in the 100+ heat to take a few shots by the pool, and dodge people coming in the back yard. Today, even, I thought “I’m all alone at last” and I still had to dodge fencers (we’ve been having issues with our fence) from seeing my array of silicone cocks and plugs.

I just haven’t felt like myself sexually. Sure, I’m sexually charged, and do enjoy playing with my toys for testing. But, there is something about having a BLOCK of time set aside. I mean having time before hand, and afterwards. Not racing into the room, grabbing a couple cocks and a vibe, fucking myself, and having to race off immediately afterwards.  I’m not talking about sex with my husband, that is always great, and we haven’t missed any sessions because of family being here. I’m talking about me time.

That all changed today. I waved good-bye to my mother-in-law, my son, my parents, and instantly felt relaxed. I didn’t have to rush off to stuff my vag with silicone. I could take my time. That alone was a head change. I watched a few old movies, fucked around on the computer, then when I felt like it, I went upstairs. I took a gonzo porno out of the DVD player, and popped in some Marilyn Manson. I danced for the first time in months. I danced as though I was being watched (the only way to do it). I closed my eyes and danced to the music. I went to my door, and grabbed the flogger that I have hanging on the door knob. I snapped it on my back, my ass, the front and back of my thighs, all in time with the music. It was exhilarating. I felt as though I was on the stage of the strip club I used to dance at, so many years ago. I felt alive.

I went to my bookcase and grabbed my B-bomb. I slathered on some Spunk Lube, and popped it in. I danced with the B-bomb buzzing away for about 10 fantastic minutes. Then I sashayed to the bed. I grabbed my Sliquid H2O, my We-vibe Salsa, and started off with Acute, then Vamp, then O2 Revolution,then Raptor XL. I took out my b-bomb and  grabbed my Ryder. I had plans.

I haven’t had serious anal play in about a month. Maybe some long term wear (1+ hours) here and there, but no real anal. I started off with the Vamp anally, then took my time with the O2 Revolution. I had to slow myself down. I started getting that feeling like I needed to “wrap it up”. After I slowed it down, I took my time with the o2 Rev…then I decided to be brave. (Well, for me it was brave, since it had been so long since I’d really fucked my ass right.) I took on the Raptor XL. The head took some patience. I felt like giving up. Again, I had to remind myself to take it slow, I have time. Holy fucking shit, am I glad I did. I’ll go into that later when I write my review.

After I finished up anally, I still wanted more. [Like I said, there is just something about being completely alone with no responsibilities.] I grabbed my T-Rex. I love that thing. Seriously. I rested my shoulders and my head on my Kiss Wedge from Liberator, while lying on the floor. That thing pummeled my g-spot  All of this is going on, while I’m listening to Marilyn Manson. So for the most part, my session was like my dancing. I was fucking myself as though I was being watched. Legs up in the air, the whole bit. Needless to say, I put on a little show during my self-inflicted orgasms. After everything, I piled up my toys, grinning like an idiot, and went downstairs. I felt different. I felt like “me”. It’s been a long time since I’ve gotten to really go to town on myself. For the first time in awhile, I feel sated. Not “that was good”. I mean I feel calm. I feel almost serene after having such a long and thorough session. It may be ridiculous, and you may be wonder “why the fuck is she telling us this?”, but there it is. I am feeling almost back to normal. Hopefully after a few more sessions like that, this weekend, I will be 100%. We’ll see.

Feeling better

boilingAs always, I got out my big boiling pot to sanitize.

Number one rule: Ass play? Big pot.

 Posted by at 4:47 pm

  4 Responses to “Almost Back To Normal”

  1. I LOVE this post. You getting the chance to be you with some quality unhurried alone time is absolutely beautiful, and reading about it makes me so happy. 😀

    • It meant to much to me. It’s something that’s hard to describe to people that don’t take masturbation seriously. I’d felt so unbalanced, and cranky. I figured out why! Hopefully this week I’ll get some time to myself. This weekend is going to be full of friends. I love ’em, but I still wish I was getting in some play time. Oh, well. Come on, Monday!

  2. […] a blog post by TJ touched me. It portrayed beauty. Enjoyment of personal alone time. Celebration of sexuality. […]

  3. I’m glad you shared your “me” time with us — I enjoyed reading it immensely! 🙂

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