Yesterday my mom called from France, she and my aunt are visiting my cousin and her family. Well, they call me excited, to tell me that my mom and my cousin got their noses pierced together. This is the conversation that took place on speaker phone:
Them: Hey T!!
Me: Hi…guys. How’s it goin’?
Them (talking over each other): You’ll never guess what your mom and N (my cousin) did today. We got our noses pierced! We wish you were here, you could have done it too! Would you have done it?
Me: No. If I can’t cover it with my clothing, I don’t want it pierced.
Mom: I wish you were here with all of my heart, we’ve talked about all kinds of things. *in a hushed voice* We’ve talked about sex a lot.
Me: Oh, cool. *long pause* N and I talk about sex all of the time. I’m glad you’re having fun.
Them: What are you up to? What are you doing? What do you have planned today?
Me: Well, to be honest, the reason I sound like I don’t want to be on the phone, is before you called I was just about to screw myself with silicone. So…
Them: *laughing so hard it sounds like loud static* Oh, okay. Well we’ll let you get back to that. Love you.
Me: Love you, too. Bye, guys.
-I guess we both learned something from this. They learned if you ask me what I’ve got planned, be ready for the truth, and I learned the quickest way to get family off the phone.